Comments for Miracle of Rare Device http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com “It was a miracle of rare device, A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice." ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge (from Kubla Khan) Thu, 19 Nov 2009 02:38:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 Comment on The Dead Pet Shop by beau http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2009/11/18/the-dead-pet-shop/comment-page-1/#comment-1799 beau Thu, 19 Nov 2009 02:38:33 +0000 http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/?p=88#comment-1799 I loved this story. Nice job easing me into the emotions of the girl. I like how the frustrated writer is a recurring theme in your stuff. Ex. the poet in Sould who couldn't turn a phrase after he sold his soul. And in some ways, Frankenstein in the audition short story. It's always funny and honest. The ending was absolutely perfect. Here are a couple of things I noticed: pg 2, That 2nd sentence is a little awkward, maybe I'm reading it wrong. Also, on line 7 it says, "he'd would..." 4th line from the bottom of pg 5, "And by then end..." I loved this story. Nice job easing me into the emotions of the girl.

I like how the frustrated writer is a recurring theme in your stuff. Ex. the poet in Sould who couldn’t turn a phrase after he sold his soul. And in some ways, Frankenstein in the audition short story. It’s always funny and honest.

The ending was absolutely perfect.

Here are a couple of things I noticed:

pg 2, That 2nd sentence is a little awkward, maybe I’m reading it wrong. Also, on line 7 it says, “he’d would…”

4th line from the bottom of pg 5, “And by then end…”

]]> Comment on What I’ve been up to by danielle http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2008/04/18/what-ive-been-up-to/comment-page-1/#comment-1797 danielle Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:32:50 +0000 http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/?p=85#comment-1797 at the school i work at, you can major in "book arts." the room where the classes take place is down the hall from my office and it looks pretty cool! good luck with your many projects! at the school i work at, you can major in “book arts.” the room where the classes take place is down the hall from my office and it looks pretty cool! good luck with your many projects!

]]> Comment on Virgil was still the frog boy… by beau http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/12/18/virgil-was-still-the-frog-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-1671 beau Wed, 19 Dec 2007 23:03:29 +0000 http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/12/18/virgil-was-still-the-frog-boy/#comment-1671 Brilliant! That was a fun read. Brilliant! That was a fun read.

]]> Comment on Writing a Novel by drweezer00 http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/08/05/writing-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-968 drweezer00 Tue, 07 Aug 2007 05:26:36 +0000 http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/08/05/writing-a-novel/#comment-968 I think this method could definitely work for a screenplay. My first thought was to say that a screenplay's sensory elements come through most in the actual making of the film: ie the shots and the nuances of the actors. But that is not the case at all. If the writer of a screenplay has a clear sense of character yearning, and how that yearning affects the way they experience their world through their sense, then it is bound to come out through the dialogue as well as in the general development of the story. All this boils down to is that great stories are not told from the intellect, they are told from the unconscious. I think this method could definitely work for a screenplay. My first thought was to say that a screenplay’s sensory elements come through most in the actual making of the film: ie the shots and the nuances of the actors. But that is not the case at all. If the writer of a screenplay has a clear sense of character yearning, and how that yearning affects the way they experience their world through their sense, then it is bound to come out through the dialogue as well as in the general development of the story. All this boils down to is that great stories are not told from the intellect, they are told from the unconscious.

]]> Comment on Writing a Novel by Beau http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/08/05/writing-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-967 Beau Mon, 06 Aug 2007 22:49:27 +0000 http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/08/05/writing-a-novel/#comment-967 I want to try this for a short story sometime, but in the meantime I wonder how this technique would apply to a screenplay. Most books give you to the opposite approach: write down only the abstractions, the gist of what happens in a scene. At first it seems like a screenplay could only benefit from that approach, given the emphasis on structure. But it would be interesting to explore the characters first before the plot...and it could probably make it a lot easier if you were writing a TV spec script for an existing show. I will try this out. I want to try this for a short story sometime, but in the meantime I wonder how this technique would apply to a screenplay. Most books give you to the opposite approach: write down only the abstractions, the gist of what happens in a scene. At first it seems like a screenplay could only benefit from that approach, given the emphasis on structure. But it would be interesting to explore the characters first before the plot…and it could probably make it a lot easier if you were writing a TV spec script for an existing show. I will try this out.

]]> Comment on A Rare Device: Poetry by Beau http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/04/14/a-rare-device-poetry/comment-page-1/#comment-174 Beau Tue, 24 Apr 2007 21:14:40 +0000 http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/04/14/a-rare-device-poetry/#comment-174 Great read for a dreary day like today. That last one was really cool with the haiku right in the middle. Kind of like Tarantino putting anime in the middle of Kill Bill, hehe. Great read for a dreary day like today. That last one was really cool with the haiku right in the middle. Kind of like Tarantino putting anime in the middle of Kill Bill, hehe.

]]> Comment on Passers-by (a short story) by beau http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/03/22/passers-by-a-short-story/comment-page-1/#comment-132 beau Tue, 10 Apr 2007 07:10:16 +0000 http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/03/22/passers-by-a-short-story/#comment-132 Very nice, I'm noticing bits of style that could only be yours, like tops of volcanoes popping out of the ocean. I started working with Kevin on my screenplay, which means I'm really writing, but also that it's very difficult. Aren't you in Houston? I'll call you tomorrow. Very nice, I’m noticing bits of style that could only be yours, like tops of volcanoes popping out of the ocean. I started working with Kevin on my screenplay, which means I’m really writing, but also that it’s very difficult. Aren’t you in Houston? I’ll call you tomorrow.

]]> Comment on The Book of Echoes by bill bonds http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/03/16/the-book-of-echoes/comment-page-1/#comment-23 bill bonds Sat, 17 Mar 2007 05:48:51 +0000 http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/03/16/the-book-of-echoes/#comment-23 I think "Bookstore Clerk" should be written in her handwriting, not Peter's. We should write our own destiny. All the other pages were in her handwriting. Maybe I misinterpreted, maybe a reason that he wrote this one caption. I wasn't really ready for this story to end. I wanted to know what her other lives were and if Peter was in her book. I think “Bookstore Clerk” should be written in her handwriting, not Peter’s. We should write our own destiny. All the other pages were in her handwriting. Maybe I misinterpreted, maybe a reason that he wrote this one caption. I wasn’t really ready for this story to end. I wanted to know what her other lives were and if Peter was in her book.

]]> Comment on California Queen by bill bonds http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/01/21/california-queen/comment-page-1/#comment-22 bill bonds Fri, 16 Mar 2007 04:03:36 +0000 http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/?p=29#comment-22 This is my favorite of the group. Illustrates the fact that loneliness can sometimes be worse when you are not alone. Also how war changes people, sometimes for the worse. Good use of metaphors and similies - not overworked. Might rethink the mucus ball puke thing. Somehow seemed out of context. This is my favorite of the group. Illustrates the fact that loneliness can sometimes be worse when you are not alone. Also how war changes people, sometimes for the worse. Good use of metaphors and similies – not overworked. Might rethink the mucus ball puke thing. Somehow seemed out of context.

]]> Comment on The Center of the Universe by bill bonds http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/2007/01/21/the-center-of-the-universe/comment-page-1/#comment-21 bill bonds Fri, 16 Mar 2007 03:45:32 +0000 http://miracleofraredevice.unsquare.com/?p=22#comment-21 I have to say, this lost me halfway through the tangerine juggling. It has potential, but my mind started to wander. Some redemption with the ending. I have to say, this lost me halfway through the tangerine juggling. It has potential, but my mind started to wander. Some redemption with the ending.

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